I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
