So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
