I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
if only i could text you this smell
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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