Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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