i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I can't trust your balls anymore.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
