i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Randomize
