she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
