All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
