can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
