hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
