every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
