I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Randomize
