I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
