she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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