I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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