That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
