yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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