this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
