I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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