Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
My breasts were aching with rage.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
