And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
