marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
