You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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