your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
