I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Randomize
