somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
