i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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