Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
