Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
