dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Randomize
