i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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