I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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