We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
