I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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