discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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