need another drink. this is the easiest way
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
