Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
