you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
my liver is dry heaving
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
