If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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