He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Randomize
