I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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