capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
