My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
