Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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