Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Did I show you my penis last night?
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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