I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
All I want is dick and wine.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
