Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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