They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
