scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
