Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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