Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
This is my gift to your gina
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
