he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
